


BLAMELESS

by iworshipkeanureeves



Category: Actor RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Blood, Character Death, Death, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Interior Designer, Knives, Minor Character Death, Murder, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, murder cover-up
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iworshipkeanureeves/pseuds/iworshipkeanureeves
Summary: Two strangers are joined by the murder that they have accidentally committed together. Can they follow their plan for the sake of getting away with it, or will their feelings take over, no matter how risky that is?
Relationships: Keanu Reeves/OFC, Keanu Reeves/Original Character(s), Keanu Reeves/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	1. Stupid or Brave?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Big Little Lies and How To Get Away With Murder.

_“Come home with me.”_ These were the most gruesome, gut-wrenching words she could ever hear from him.

Home. What did it even mean?

What did it say about her home when a crowded street felt safer than the bedroom shared with a man claiming to love her the most? When her bathroom floor was covered in salt, remaining from the soul-crushing tears she would cry until there was left no more? It was the place she was scared to come back to, so dark and so cold that even the brightest days felt like inescapable torture, filled with fear of learning what else that man was capable of.

That was not home, not for Laura at least. And one thing she knew for sure, she had to leave.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, weary and afraid, walking in the dark unfamiliar neighborhood, desperately trying to lose the man tailing her steps, Laura remembers how she got here in the first place.

She recalls speeding back home from her office in the middle of the business hours, cramming her suitcase with only what was the most important to her, and stuffing her pockets with bundles of cash she has been saving up for this day. Laura had it all planned, she had the perfect scheme to disappear from Robert’s life for good, leaving him no clue where to look for her.

Except that he came home early today.

This led to Laura also remembering Robert’s furious eyes, as he saw the packed luggage resting in the corner, making him very much aware of Laura’s plan. As well as his raised voice, together with his sturdy fingers violently snapping car keys out of his woman’s hand, trying to make her scared.

None of that stopped Laura though. She had one goal. To leave. It didn’t matter how or where anymore, all she knew was that it had to happen today. She’d rather die fighting than suffer another day.

Grabbing only the backpack casing her most essential stuff and leaving the house on foot, Laura prayed that Robert would stay away.

She recalls rushing outside, knowing that the public was her only way of staying safe. Laura remembers running, searching for busier streets, knowing that Robert wouldn’t dare to do anything with neighbors’ eyes set on her. She foolishly hoped that he would eventually give up, that losing her in the crowds would stop him, making Robert afraid to openly show the world what kind of cruel person he actually was.

But it didn’t work out this way.

And now she hates herself for being so stupid; or maybe, she hates herself for trying to be brave.

The sun is setting and people are getting sparser, leaving Laura feeling even less safe. Every time she walks past someone, she tries to find courage and cry for help; she knows she only needs one person to hear her. However, having received nothing but indifference for the majority of her life, Laura now is too afraid. She is certain that if her first try failed, only God knows what Robert would do to her.

Laura sees his shadow following everywhere; but she is too scared to look back. She knows that Robert will do anything in his power to stop her, to bring her back home. But she keeps walking, her tired legs barely holding the weight. Whenever she tries to make a turn leading to the city, Robert immediately steers her back towards the hills.

“Stop acting like a dumb bitch and come home with me,” he whispers, grabbing Laura’s elbow and squeezing it tightly to cause her pain. “Where are you even going? Do you think anyone needs you? Do you think anyone can ever love you?” His words are full of spite, but she ignores them. 

Her mind is operating on a survival mode. She understands that Robert is trying to corner her, to force her into the hiking trail leading up the hill. He knows that’s what Laura fears the most – having no one else around to stop him. 

Robert can already feel the woman shivering, her eyes are tearing as she is thinking about her unfortunate fate. She is isolated, vulnerable; she is the perfect prey.

Meanwhile, even though she is in panic, Laura does everything in her power to avoid going up the hill; she can’t end up alone with him. She is trying to stick to the base, take an alternative path and reach the road while it isn’t too late.

The sun is already past the horizon, leaving just Laura and Robert alone in the dusk. “This is your last chance.” Robert now speaks in his full voice, seeing no more spectators around them.

It is her last chance indeed. It is her last chance to run, to resist, to show him that she is done being his victim, pleasing him all the time just because he made her scared.

But she has gotten tired of this fear, of his abuse, years of suffering alone. To the point where she is willing to take the chance; maybe she’ll die, but at least she is going to try.

“I don’t love you, please just let me go.” Laura whines, her words fueling the fire. She snaps her elbow out of his clutch and runs. She doesn’t know where exactly she is running, but as long as it is away from him, Laura is fine with it.

She feels the fatigue abandoning her body, as a dose of adrenaline is being pumped through her veins. Laura feels free. She flees ignoring the branches hitting her face and roots sticking out of the ground in her way.

In fact, she can already hear the traffic, meaning the road is near, and it motivates her.

But Robert outruns her. 

He gets close enough to yank Laura’s hair, making her trip and fall to the ground. She feels no pain, just struggle, as he is forcing her back up, tugging aggressively on her ponytail.

And if that wasn’t enough, a sharp knife meets Laura’s eyes as she is trying to stand straight. She’s terrified, witnessing a shiny blade threatening her face. And here stands Robert, completely enraged, a glimpse of sadistic pleasure settling in his gaze; he enjoys having a reason for punishing her.

“Let go of me!” She screams. What else there’s left to do?  
“Please, I’m begging.” The shrieking sound turns into a sob and tears show up on Laura’s face.

Robert has no intention to let go. In fact, it seems to agitate him even more, making him bring the knife closer to Laura’s cheek, the blade almost sinking into her soft skin.

Robert has never meant to actually cut Laura before, he has always been reluctant to leave marks, knowing people might see, start questioning her. But today Robert is furious, he seems like he is ready to strangle her with his bare hands.

Laura is petrified; she can’t stop tears streaming down her face, curving around the sharp blade. She can no longer scream, nor move, nor breathe. She can only wait, knowing that nothing depends on her anymore.

“Let her go.”

They hear a deep voice coming from behind the lush tree and a massive figure of a man in the biker gear appears. Laura begs for Robert to let go, she hopes it’s over since they are no longer alone.

Robert doesn’t care though. His pride is telling him to hold on, to show Laura how far he is willing to go. He won’t accept defeat, especially not from her. And if he has to fight, he will.

“I said let her go.” The man repeats, nearing the couple, trying to peacefully separate them both. His motion is slow, yet confident, carrying his well-built frame closer to Laura with every step. It’s hard to make out his intention in the absence of light, especially with the dark messy mane partly covering his face. But as long as he is moving close, Laura feels safe.

Anything feels safer than her and Robert alone.

Noticing the blade brushing against Laura’s cheek, the stranger slows down. He is a little lost, all of them are, but no one seems to be ready to give up just yet. They stare at each other in the dark, Robert’s eyes are moving, trying to look at both, Laura and the man. She can feel that Robert is getting increasingly scared, as the man keeps slinking, inch by inch approaching them.

Suddenly, the stranger stretches his arm, throwing the dirt he has been clenching with his glove. It lands straight into Robert’s eyes, catching him off guard, giving Laura a chance.

She fights back. She pushes Robert away, escaping the tormenting grip that was restraining her.

Now Robert feels naked, deprived of his only shield. He waves the knife trying to convince everyone he is able to protect himself, but his eyes are hurting, he can hardly see the man coming to beat the hell out of him.

It is a matter of seconds before the stranger twists Robert’s arm making the knife fall to the ground, leaving Robert to fight with his bare hands. They don’t help him much though, since the man seems to have significantly more fighting experience, rewarding Robert with a bunch of devastating hits to his face.

Laura wants to run, but she can’t. Not yet.

Seeing that knife conveniently lying on the ground wakes something up in her. It is anger, wrath, ineffable furry for everything Robert has done to her, the hell he has been making Laura go through every single day.

But there is also fear. Fear that even if Laura runs, Robert might come looking for her. That he might pull her back into the same devastating world, she has no strength left to bear.

Laura isn’t afraid of dying from his hand. No. She is terrified of existing like she has been for the past five years.

Picking the knife up from the warm ground, clenching it in her bare hand, Laura feels powerful, she feels the control that she has been deprived of for many years.

All she wants is for this nightmare to finally end.

She feels the pure rage boiling within her, the immense power forcing Laura to make her fateful move, pushing the final buttons that unleash her.

One stab.

One stab and suddenly they all go quiet; disgust is filling Laura’s eyes.

Her hand is steady.

She twists the blade.

The knife goes out.

And she repeats.

Again.

And again.

And again…

Until she sees Robert collapse, his heavy weight quivering the ground, and dust filling up the air.

It is too dark to see the crimson red, but she knows it’s there. It’s the smell of Robert’s blood running down the Laura’s hand, her jacket sleeve is getting drenched.

She collapses too, realizing what a terrible thing she has done. She isn’t sorry for him, she is sorry for herself, for everything that man is going to make her suffer even after he’s dead.

Laura has no idea what to do, how to react. She is a mess. She wants to scream, but there’s a feeling in her throat. Something heavy and tight strangling her. She cries and chokes; it’s the guilt suffocating her.

“Stop.” The stranger kneels to grab her. He is holding Laura by the shoulders, trying to make her sit straight. “Say it was self-defense. You were alone and he attacked you.” He is doing his best to remain composed and help the poor girl.

“And I managed to take over the knife? I crushed his nose all by myself? No one’s going to believe this.” It is her panic speaking, her eyes rapidly flickering while she is also gulping for air. Laura feels hot, her face is burning from shame and regret. “And I stabbed him a lot… too much. Do you realize how bad this looks?” Laura finally finds the courage to take a look at the man. She thinks he must be mad for getting involved in her mess. And he is, for sure, distressed for becoming an accessory to a murder by protecting a woman he has never even met.

But all Laura sees in the stranger’s eyes is only how terribly sorry he feels for her.

“You stabbed him until it was enough to stop him, you had to be sure he won’t hurt you anymore. It’s going to be okay.” He is trying to calm Laura down, rubbing her shoulders and making her look away.

But she doesn’t move, she can’t, Laura feels as if her whole body has turned into a block of stone. “You don’t know that. In everyone’s eyes I’m going to be a murderer,” her eyes receive a new portion of tears. Murderer, that is who she is now, that is who she is going to remain for the rest of her life. 

“He is-- he was my fiancé. We were a perfect couple,” Laura stammers. “We _looked_ like a perfect couple,” she corrects herself. “This is over, that’s it for me.”

“A-and your face… It looks familiar; I just can’t recall the name. I know you’re famous and I’m sorry for- I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry if it ruins your life too. I just don’t know what to do.” Laura is bawling her eyes out, tears drenching her swollen face. She loathes herself. She should have never tried running away.

_“Give it to me.”_ The man commands.

“What?”

“The knife. Give it to me.” He reaches for Laura’s hand, trying to remove the knife away from her clenched fist.

“No. Why?” Even though she sees the man is wearing gloves, she is unwilling to let go. She doesn’t want to get him farther into this. She stabbed Robert and she is going to take the blame.

“Calm down and listen.” The man moves even closer to Laura’s face, trying to make sure she understands. “It’s dark, there’s no one around. I’m going to take the knife far away, you’re going to call the police and tell you’ve been robbed.” The man can’t believe his words, but he knows that he is also involved...

“That’s insane. You’re insane.” Laura is shaking her head, she thinks this is a terrible idea.

“This is as much on me as it is on you, so listen and do as I say.” The man stands up seeing Laura still confused; she is in shock and she needs his help. The only way for them to get away with this is to cooperate; otherwise, they will both go down for this very unfortunate mistake. “We are strangers, there’s nothing to relate me to you. It should work out.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Laura allows the man to help her up, and she is finally convinced to pass the knife. She starts looking around, trying to notice silhouettes hiding in the night, any possible witnesses of the crime.

“I don’t know.” He silently admits, carefully folding the knife. “Do you have anything valuable on you?” The man tries to get Laura’s attention back, but she is lost in her mind, thinking about every possible piece of evidence they are about to leave on this trail. What if they find his DNA? How many people walk here every day, leaving their trace? Can they actually do the things she has seen on television in CSI? Laura has so many questions that it is hard for her to trust the plan.

“Hey, look at me.” The man gently taps on Laura’s backpack strap. “Do you have anything valuable if we say it was a robbery?” He repeats, allowing Laura to think for a little longer, while she tries to calm down.

Laura knows that time is not on their side, and they have to call help soon. It will look suspicious otherwise.

She remembers all the cash she is carrying and begins taking it out of her pockets in generous stacks. Luckily, she has one clean hand, which lets her avoid soaking the bills in blood.

“What the hell?” The man keeps watching her, taking more and more, first out of her jacket, then she moves on to her bag. He tries to approximate the amount in his head, realizing it must be thousands of dollars. He can’t help but wonder whether the money was part of what happened here. Has he got himself involved in something even more dirty and dangerous than he previously thought?

“This was for the road. I was leaving him today.” Laura keeps sniffing, handing him stacks of money one by one. “That’s why he got upset.” She can barely see anymore, it is dark and her eyes are shutting because of her swelling face; her cheeks are boiling hot.

“So your bag then?” The stranger asks as he moves to the body, checking Robert’s pockets to find only a five dollar bill. 

It’s scary how calm he remains; but it’s all superficial. The man is scared as hell, thinking how he should have minded his own business; maybe he should have ignored the screaming girl. But he couldn’t. That is not the person he is. And if there’s any regret that troubles him, it isn’t for stepping in and protecting her; it is for not stopping the woman while it still wasn’t too late.

In the meantime Laura doesn’t even say anything. She silently cries handing her heavy backpack to the man, keeping only the phone to herself. “Please, take it?” She begs, ashamed and full of sorrow.

“I’ll find a way to give everything back to you,” the man sighs. He feels so terrible that it hurts him to even think what Laura must be going through.

“No. You said we were strangers, let’s keep it that way.” She contradicts. “It’s a ridiculous price to pay for what I did.”

They stand in silence, only the traffic sounds can be heard from far away. He hates to leave Laura alone, but that is the plan.

“Just don’t wait too long. Make the call.” He instructs, giving Laura one last look. He hopes she can make it, he prays that she does.

Eyeing the stranger disappearing into the dark woods, Laura falls back to the ground; she feels like doing nothing but falling asleep and waiting for another day to come.

But she knows she can’t. The man is risking everything by taking the weapon away with him; Laura has no choice but to stick to the plan.

She picks up her phone.

_911, what is your emergency?_


	2. Undying Love

Sitting at the somber police station and waiting for the detective to arrive, Laura felt as if everyone was watching her. Like they all knew what a horrible thing she had done, what a terrible person she actually was.

Laura still couldn’t comprehend how she had managed to pull off a murder, cold-bloodedly stabbing the man a few times. It didn’t sound like her at all, in fact, nothing in this situation seemed right. It all felt like a terrible nightmare, but unfortunately, Laura knew it was real. And now she was left to deal with the thing she had done. Frightened and alone, miserably shaking, waiting for what was to come.

“Hello, I’m detective Nichols, please come with me.” The words waked Laura up from her self-loathing thoughts. She barely had strength to look up and meet the detective with her red, painfully swollen eyes; but once she did, Laura saw a tall, tough-looking lady in a dark pantsuit, who seemed skeptical and ready to squeeze the truth out of her.

Laura felt like a zombie, walking the dark corridors, following the detective to the interview room. Terrified, she was clenching damp balls of used tissues in her shaky hands, praying not to mess everything up. She knew that one mistake, one tiny slip, could ruin everything for her.

And to put more pressure on her, she knew that the stranger’s life was on the line too.

Except he wasn’t that much of a stranger anymore; Laura remembered the name, it was Keanu Reeves. The man, who risked everything for her; he saved her from Robert and even took the knife to save her from jail.

Why had he helped her? She had no idea.

“What were you doing in that trail at this time of the night?” A strict question from Nichols felt like a kick to Laura’s guts. The detective was so stern that Laura wasn’t sure whether she was a victim or a suspect anymore.

“We took a walk around the neighborhood and thought we had time to go up the hill, but it was getting dark, so we decided to reach the road and get a taxi.” She knew every good lie was partly truth, but further into their conversation, the questioning began to feel like interrogation, and Laura was unsure whether she could go through.

“So, you claim there was a robber, who attacked you in the middle of a hiking trail leading somewhere around that hill? Isn’t that a little bit odd?”

Laura nodded, realizing how stupid she sounded. She had no choice but to continue. “He wanted cash. And then I saw the knife so, of course, I started looking for anything I could give him, but Robert, he...” She covered her mouth for a moment, looking like she was trying to swallow her tears. “He wasn’t going to give anything, he even told me to put the money back into my pocket and then...” Laura stammered. “Then, well, you know.” She faltered, feeling that Nichols was not buying her lie. 

Subsequently, she gave more details about the made up robbery, and then described the imaginary attacker as vaguely as she could, giving no concrete information, which was probably raising the suspicion even more.

The detective was frowning after every question, asking for little details, as if she wanted for Laura to mess up, to give something that proved her story was untrue.

“Last question for now.” The same barren detective’s voice. “How would you describe your relationship with the victim?” Nichols inquired, and Laura felt blood rushing to her face, her head pulsating with pain. Laura hated Robert, and now she hated herself too; for having to lie, creating a perfect fairy tale, pretending to have loved the cruel man.

“We were engaged, _happy_. We loved each other and we were about to plan our wedding.” Laura covered her face, trying to hold herself together; but the tears were already threatening the corners of her eyes. “I-I can’t, I’m sorry,” she started crying, barely able to say another phrase.

It wasn’t grief streaming down her face, not at all. It was part shame, part guilt, but most importantly, it was fear of getting caught, fear of dragging an innocent person down with her.

“We’ll start an investigation, but from what we have, I can’t promise you much. I’ll find an officer to safely take you home, and we’ll call when we know something.”

\----------

Laura felt exhausted entering her home, packed luggage meeting her in the corner next to the front door.

There was also a ring; the one Robert had given her, the same one that Laura had left on the hallway counter before escaping his cage. Now it was only a reminder of the harrowing life Laura would still be living if she hadn’t tried to run away.

She wanted none of it. If it had been her choice, Laura would have thrown that ring away. Yet, she had to keep it now; it was the proof of their love, and Laura knew she had to wear it, no matter how painful it was going to be.

Laura crawled into her bed; she was weary, but she could not sleep. She tried shutting her parched eyes, letting them rest for a minute, but whenever she did so, her mind kept replaying the fatal moment, making the poor woman sickened and wanting to scream.

Sleepless, she wanted to search the internet for Keanu Reeves; Laura wanted to make sure that the face she remembered was actually his. Taking the phone in her hands, she was about to type the name, when the paranoia took over her. She kept thinking about the police hacking her phone and connecting her with the man, finding out that he was also involved, and the weapon, which was probably hidden somewhere at his place. Laura knew she was overthinking, but she couldn’t stop.

Why didn’t he interfere? Keanu Reeves was definitely strong enough to rip the knife out of Laura’s hand. And still, he just watched her do it. Then helped her afterwards. Why? She had so many questions that only the man himself could answer.

Laura figured she needed a distraction from her uneasy thoughts. She was thinking about watching something online, as nature documentaries would always calm her down. Unfortunately, she remembered that her computer was in the bag, which Keanu had taken away from her. Her driver’s license too… And that was a real problem, since those things were essential for Laura’s job. 

\----------

First thing in the morning after a long, grueling night, Laura had to call Robert’s mother. She was picking her phone up and putting it down dozens of times, before she finally dared to dial the number; the one she hadn’t called in a long time.

Laura cried announcing the horrible news, she felt terribly guilty, sorry for what his mother was about to go through. Even if Robert was a cruel man, no mother deserved to mourn her own son.

Feeling even worse after making the call, Laura spent the rest of the morning sobbing in her bed, contemplating whether she should go back to the station and admit to everything she had done.

The problem was that Laura had no murder weapon anymore. She knew there was no way of confessing, without incriminating Keanu too. Laura felt stuck; it wasn’t too late to do the right thing, but did she deserve to go to prison for trying to protect herself?

She didn’t think so.

Around noon, Laura remembered she still had luggage left to unpack, before anyone got the chance to see it. Dragging her feeble body through the corridor, which seemed dusty in the morning light, Laura glanced into the mirror on the wall, flinching at the sight reflecting back to her; her cheeks were stained black from all her tears washing the mascara away, and her eyes painfully puffy, making Laura look as awful as she was feeling within.

She knew the house was dirty, and she wished she had the strength to tidy it up before Robert’s mother came; but Laura was so exhausted that she decided to return to bed, until the doorbell woke her up again.

Laura rushed to the door, her baggy pajamas sweeping the floor along the way. “Hello, Katherine.” Staring at the grieving mother crying in the doorway, Laura had nothing else to say.

She felt like she had no right to. Laura knew she was the reason this woman was in pain.

“Come in,” Laura took the suitcase from Katherine’s hands, slowly guiding her along the hallway. “I’m so sorry,” Laura swallowed her guilt, helping the woman towards the guest room, making sure she had everything for her stay.

“I stopped by at the police department.” Katherine sat on the bed, her eyes bleak and empty, staring at the white wall. “They said you weren’t too helpful,” the mother exhaled.

Did it mean the police knew something? What if any important evidence came up, which didn’t match the story Laura had told? Katherine’s words scared Laura enough to put her in a defensive mode.

“I’m sorry, I was trying...” Laura sighed, speaking her words with a note of regret “I guess I was still in shock.” She tried to explain, making Katherine regret her reproaching tone.

“It’s okay, I get it. I just really want to know who did this to him.”

“Me too.” Laura felt terrible lying to Katherine’s face.

“They want to keep the remains as evidence as long as the investigation is ongoing.” The mother started crying, her hand diving into her purse to find a tissue for wiping the tears away. “I would still like to have a memorial, at least for now.”

Laura’s heart was breaking for her. “Of course, I’ll call the funeral home, see if they can help us.”

\----------

The next few days Laura felt as if everything she saw was through the haze. Numerous people coming in and out of the house, bringing various gifts and meals, hugging, crying, sharing memories of Robert, what a tremendous person he had been.

Laura couldn’t believe how many people had been fooled by him. Everyone only saw a perfect man, a loving fiancé, someone who would bring happiness and joy; yet, no one even suspected the hell he had been making Laura go through, the pain his abuse was causing each day. They kept repeating nothing but good words about him, and it made Laura certain that no one would have even believed her if she had told the whole truth.

The remorse on Laura’s face was fitting the situation perfectly; she appeared like a grieving fiancée, devastated by the love of her life having been taken from her. However, all she truly felt was disgust for the oblivion in the room, and guilt because of all the mourning people at the memorial that she had hurt.

Did it make her even worse than Robert somehow? He used to be a cruel abuser, yes, but she had become a murderer now.

None of that mattered at the memorial though, as long as Laura was putting up a show, feeding all these ignorant people with tears of her supposed grief and stories of their undying love.

_I was one of the lucky people to know Rob. The man, who taught me everything I know about love. He promised to spend the rest of his life with me, he loved me, unconditionally, every single day he was there for me. And for that, I’ll be forever grateful to him. I’ll be forever grateful for little moments we experienced together, and yet it hurts me so much, knowing that there will be so many left unshared. What the future held for us, I’ll never have the chance to know. It sucks. I wish there was something I could have done. You are the love of my life. This love will remain. And I will be honoring you memory, Rob, every day for the rest of my life. I love you. Always and forever._

Lies. So many lies. From the moment on, there would only be more. Laura had to learn. To lie, to swallow that bitterness arising from sweet words she forced herself to choke out.

\----------

Once the memorial was over, it was only Laura and Katherine alone at home, searching for comfort in each other. Sitting in the living room they were mostly quiet, drinking tea and looking at the yard through the window, where there was Robert’s surfboard leaning against the wall. He had forgotten to bring it inside, and no one moved it since; all of Robert’s stuff had not been touched yet.

“It was a nice speech.” Katherine sighed, running a soaked tissue below her eyes.

“I spoke from my heart, I really loved him, you know.” Every time it was easier to lie. 

“So, are you planning to stay for a few days?” Laura asked politely, knowing that the mother had a very hard time; she probably needed a shoulder to cry on, and guilt was motivating Laura to offer hers.

“Actually, I thought I’ll stay until the investigation is over. If that’s fine with you.” Katherine sighed again, looking up at Laura and searching for her consent.

“Of course, as long as you need to.” She tried to smile, but all that came out was a weird tug at the corners of her lips.

Laura hated the idea of Katherine staying here. That woman was a constant reminder of the blame Laura was carrying everywhere she went, it was eating her alive. And now, having Katherine at home with her, felt like it was a prison all over again.

Just as Laura thought she had reclaimed her home, Katherine ripped it away from her the second she had decided to stay. Laura had to escape, find reasons to get away.

Work was one of them. No matter how dreadful it was replying emails through her phone, and even if she had no driver’s license to legally reach her workplace, Laura needed money to get by. Keanu had taken most of her savings away; for which she was grateful, not mad, but her accounts were almost empty, and if anyone found out, people would be questioning her.

Laura called her assistant, praying that the agency had new clients for her. 

“This is Abigail, leave a message.” Laura decided to use the assistant’s personal number, given they were sort of friends. They would have probably been even closer, if Robert’s jealousy and possessiveness had allowed, but whenever Laura tried to meet new people, Robert would always steer her away. That was mainly the reason why Laura barely knew anyone outside her work, but now she felt free knowing it could change.

“Hey, it’s Laura. Do you have anything for me? Any project will do just fine, I need to keep myself occupied. Arrange a meeting and call me.” She felt weird coming back to work so soon, especially when she had to appear like she was mourning Robert; but if anyone asked, people have different ways of coping, and being busy was Laura’s choice.

An hour later, Laura heard her phone ringing. It was Abigail reaching back to her. “Hey, how are you holding on?” She asked in a condoling voice.

“I’m fine,” Laura blurted, quickly changing the subject. “Just please tell me you have something.”

“Oh, trust me I do. It’s tomorrow at 1 PM, and it’s in The Bird Streets. I can only tell you it’s a big deal, you’ll be occupied for sure.” Abigail was excited, she knew that Laura had always been dreaming about doing something huge and that was finally her chance.

Except that Laura felt like something was off. She was not a seasoned designer yet, so an opportunity like that seemed too much out of the blue, it seemed suspicious to her. “Umm, you’re sure this isn’t some sort of mistake? Do they know I’m not very experienced?”

“Relax, they specifically asked for you. Even when I explained that you were on a personal leave, they said they could wait.”

Laura only hummed dubiously.

“Come on, it’s good for you. I’ll send you all the details via email.” Abigail added with a note of encouragement in her tone.

“Thanks, Abby.” The second Laura hung up, she started googling the Bird Streets. She wasn’t really surprised anymore to learn that Keanu was one of the celebrities living there. All she needed to know for sure was an exact address, which Abigail was sending right away.


	3. Say Your Goodbyes

Driving up the hill, Laura already knew the name of a man who was going to open the door for her. She couldn’t explain why she was doing this and it all sounded too crazy in her head; Laura knew she had to stay away. And yet, there was something, curiosity perhaps, forcing her to go meet up with him.

Hesitantly, she was slowing down to park on his driveway, when she saw the garage gate opening, making Laura very confused whether she was supposed to drive in. They had a meeting arranged, so he must have been expecting her, and as she preferred to not be seen outside of Keanu Reeve’s house, Laura decided she’d better not leave her car until she was safely parked in his garage.

Was she being too paranoid about getting tied with him? Maybe. But Laura knew the saying _better safe than sorry_ , and in this case it seemed perfectly reasonable to follow it. She was already risking by coming here.

Inside, Laura saw him. Keanu was standing just in front of her arriving car, wearing jeans and a grey t-shirt. His hair was pretty messed up and it looked like the past few days had been hard on him as well.

As Laura turned the engine off, he was about to come closer and help her with opening the door, but she was quicker stepping out of the car, and they ended up face to face standing in his garage. For the first time they saw each other in light, almost afraid to glance into each other’s eyes.

Keanu smiled, he tried at least, but there was awkwardness between them. “Hi, I’m-“

“Keanu Reeves, I know.” She cut him off, slamming the car door and tossing her purse strap over the shoulder. “What is this all about?” There was a slight irritation in Laura’s tone, which wasn’t intentional, but she felt like this was all a terrible idea; and she was notably weary as well.

“Can we go inside first?” Keanu calmly suggested, opening the door.

Laura was moving sluggishly, observing his home. She had seen her fair share of houses and people who owned them. At this point, Laura could tell a lot about the person just by taking a look at their décor. Except with Keanu, she tried to abstain. The last thing Laura wanted was to get to know him; or worse – get to like him, even if just as a person or a friend. She felt so lonely that the slightest connection could make her fall for it.

“How did you find me?” Laura finally spoke, entering Keanu’s kitchen, where she was offered a bar stool and she sat on it crossing her legs. Laura felt constrained, slightly crouching, not knowing where to put her hands or her purse. Everything in this encounter felt terribly unnatural to her and all she wanted was to run away from there.

Meanwhile, Keanu leaned on a kitchen counter. He saw that Laura was rather uncomfortable and keeping a distance from him. Keanu even felt a tad of bitterness coming his way. “Your ID was in the bag.” He spoke.

“Oh yeah, right.” Laura nodded, her mind was so clouded that she couldn’t even put that together. She was dizzy from exhaustion, and no matter how tired her eyes were, the nausea in her stomach was keeping Laura constantly awake. It felt like the room was spinning, like every little noise was destroying her ears. Laura knew she wasn’t going to last long like this, but at the same time she didn’t know what to do to end it.

“Sorry that I went through your stuff, I just needed to find you.” Keanu calmly looked down, trying to not agitate Laura more.

“B-but why?” She faltered. “We said that we’ll remain strangers.” It would have been so simple to just never meet again, she thought.

“I know,” Keanu sighed running his hand through his hair; he saw distress accumulating in Laura’s eyes. “But then I counted the money and it was almost fifteen grand, so…” He didn’t want to imply anything, but he suspected it was a huge amount of money for Laura, and he felt too uncomfortable keeping it.

“So what? It’s just money, Jesus.” She stopped for a second realizing she had been whispering this whole time; all the secrets and lies had been continuously keeping Laura on her toes. “It is not worth the risk of getting caught.”

“Okay, but what about your bag? Where was I supposed to put everything? Throw away? I mean there are documents with your name, I can’t just keep them at my place.” Keanu shrugged raising his voice. He seemed a little frustrated; he felt like Laura was scolding him, when he had been doing nothing but trying to help.

The change in his tone made Laura remember that she was not the only one going through this. Keanu participated that night too, and she had to acknowledge that he could be hurting as well. He was tired, both of them were, and the last thing Laura wanted was to cause a fight with the person who had been protecting her.

“Fine, I’m sorry.” She exhaled, her eyes filling with regret. “Give it to me and I’ll go.” She felt like she was being ungrateful, but she didn’t really want to talk with Keanu about what had brought them together in this place. Laura hated remembering that night; and she was glad that their conversation went without even mentioning Robert, or the thing she had done to him.

Leaving Laura in his kitchen alone, Keanu went to bring the backpack for her. Gladly, it gave some time for Laura to take a deeper breath; have a brief look around and distract herself.

She couldn’t help but notice the abundance of artwork in his home; especially the three vivid paintings which seemed to be depicting strippers, in colors clashing with the rest of his decor.

 _Interesting_ , she thought; as an interior designer, she would have never hung them in this room. Laura was pretty sure she would have never even suggested putting it anywhere in this house, but if Keanu had chosen such a conspicuous place for them, these painting must have been something he truly loved.

Looking further around his home, she noticed that everything else was extremely refined, making the strippers stand out even more. Someone of high profile must have designed his home; and if not her horrible state, Laura would have taken this as an opportunity to observe and learn.

“Here it is.” Keanu interrupted her train of thoughts.

It felt like her body was resisting taking the backpack, the weight of it was dragging her feeble arm to the ground. Even if it was filled with her personal belongings, everything about that only reminded her of Robert and the reason why Keanu took over that bag. Laura was already thinking about throwing it away, once she takes out everything that was important to her.

“Thank you.” She dismounted herself from the bar stool, taking one last look at Keanu’s face. After turning around, Laura’s eyes began searching for the door leading back to the garage but she was stopped by Keanu’s husky voice.

“Would you like some tea?” His suggestion was completely out of the blue, and even Keanu himself looked a little staggered that these words had been formed by his own lips. Maybe seeing how upset Laura was, he just couldn’t let her go like this.

“Wha-at?” Laura choked, returning to face Keanu again. Of course she had heard him perfectly. She just couldn’t understand why he would ask for this; they were not friends, they shouldn’t have even met in the first place.

“I can make tea and I have cookies, we can-“ Keanu started gesticulating, unsure what to say next. “No?” His greyish face was beginning to flush, and he was already regretting everything he had said.

“I think it’s better if we don’t.” Laura didn’t want to be rude, but she was very confused. She just couldn’t understand why Keanu was not so keen on keeping a distance; it wasn’t going to end well for neither one of them. And yet, Laura couldn’t blame just him, she was the one who came here when she had a choice not to.

A deep sigh left Keanu’s throat. “Do you at least have someone to talk to?” He tilted his head, staring at Laura with sorrow in his dark eyes.

“I’m fine on my own.” She mumbled. Her lips quivered, but she was doing her best to hold on. She couldn’t allow herself to break apart in Keanu’s hallway and become another mess for him to deal with.

“I doubt that. You really don’t look fine.” Keanu articulated, and the second he saw Laura’s eyebrow arching up, he immediately wanted to take his words back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-“

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m not fine. Not at all. But can you be surprised?” Laura turned away and started approaching the door rather quickly; however, Keanu was rushing right after her.

She had been in a position like this many times with Robert before. And now, Laura was terrified just as much; even if she knew it was Keanu, not _him_ , walking behind her. She had to face the fact that she knew nothing about the man, she knew nothing about the lengths he would be willing to go in order to stop her.

Laura’s first thought was to run, but in reality she only cowered and froze.

“Wait,” Keanu was about to grab her shoulder and turned her around, but the last second his hand went past her and pressed on the closed door. “Laura, please.” His voice had become quiet. “You can’t leave like this.”

For a moment, she stared at his sturdy hand, knowing the power such fist can hold. No action in the situation like this felt right to her; but as Keanu kept staying still, Laura had to break free from under his arm, facing him once again.

It all felt very back and forward, whenever she tried to go, Keanu was drawing her back in. It seemed like an inescapable loop, making Laura highly disturbed.

“We can’t just start hanging out.” She exhaled, not even looking at Keanu’s face. “That would be too careless, given what’s on the line.”

Sighing, Keanu retracted his arm. He saw that Laura was on the verge of tears. “Okay, listen.” He spoke in a gentle voice. “Officially, you are my interior designer, and I arranged our meeting through your firm. Even if anyone saw you coming here today, it’s considered a professional visit.” Keanu explained, and he saw a bit of deliberation in Laura’s face.

She was somewhat convinced, or at least she realized Keanu was so persistent, that it was easier to give him a little time, rather than try to escape this never ending hold. “Fifteen minutes.” Laura agreed.

The same second Keanu’s face livened up. Not that he was smiling, but Laura could see a touch of brightness illuminating his tired eyes. “Come here, to the patio,” Keanu offered, and she followed him through his impeccable house, finally resting in the shade to hide from the blazing sun. “I’ll be quick.” He left Laura alone once again.

She was staring at the tiny waves rippling in the pool, thinking about how she killed a person and Keanu still wanted to sit down with her. It’s like he saw nothing wrong in this. For God’s sake, he even helped her; and Laura still couldn’t comprehend why. She wanted to find out, but at the same time she didn’t want to bring up that horrible night. It was way better staying in the unknown than reliving the memories, which had already been keeping Laura awake all the time.

In the periphery, Laura noticed Keanu, who was readily coming back holding a platter, and then walked around to sit behind the coffee table in front of her. “Umm so… How are you holding on?” He looked up at Laura, pouring some tea into a pair of cozy mugs.

“What do you think?” She grimaced. Laura felt sick to her stomach and voicing her emotions was the last thing she wanted to do.

Keanu didn’t take it personally though; he knew it was not the real Laura speaking right now. “Yeah… I’m sorry.” He muttered, handing her the cup.

What she truly needed was coffee, or something stronger, to wake her up from this never-ending state of lethargy, which had been bothering Laura ever since Robert’s death. The weariness was mostly physical, it was the result of her sleepless nights. Laura’s mind, however, was still a hectic mess; and more than anything, she felt concerned now. “I don’t think our plan is going to work out.” She bit her lip, giving Keanu an apologetic glance.

He slowed down finishing his cookie and rested his mug on the side table, leaning forward closer to her. “Did something go wrong?” Keanu asked, frowning slightly and swallowing a visible lump in his throat.

“Well no, but-“ She exhaled, raising her hand up to rub her forehead, then sighed once more before carrying on to her next phrase. “The detective was being hard on me, it seemed like she knew I was lying.” Laura spoke.

Stroking his chin, Keanu kept thinking how to calm Laura down. He felt like she was overreacting, but at the same time he wasn’t sure what exactly had happened at the time of questioning, whether they had broken her. “It’s what they do. Everyone is a suspect at first.” Keanu remained composed, he was aware that at least one of them had to keep a clear mindset. And at this moment, Laura definitely wasn’t the one.

“I don’t know…” She glanced at the cookies thinking if one would be enough to make her throw up. She could only wonder when this was going to pass; _if_ that was ever going to pass.

Seeing her like this, Keanu was genuinely worried for her. Laura needed support, for sure. However, she was avoiding him and he felt like there was nothing else he could do to help.

“So you’re just spending your days alone at home?” Keanu carefully inquired.

“I wish…” She slightly scoffed, making Keanu a little lost; luckily, she kept explaining further. “His mother is in town, staying with me.” Laura continued and she saw Keanu beginning to understand. “She won’t leave until they close the case and I feel terrible lying to her face.”

“You have to.” He rasped; his voice so harsh that it made Laura recoil.

Of course she knew she had to. Laura just couldn’t bare it any longer. The guilt was already crushing her, and now she only felt guiltier with every lie.

“Yeah, but she hates me, I’m pretty sure.” Laura kept biting her lip, to the point where even Keanu noticed the redness accumulating around it. “She keeps watching me; it’s like she is waiting for me to slip up, she knows I’m somehow involved.”

“You’re paranoid. I’m not blaming you, but if you keep being this way, you will begin to appear suspicious.” He calmly explained, but Laura wasn’t really grasping it.

“I can’t control it.” She mewled; her palms ran up and down her face, muffling her voice. “And what about the knife?” Laura’s hand wrapped around her chin with her index finger staying pressed to her tightly shut lips, as she looked at Keanu with fear that maybe he still had the knife somewhere around the house.

“It’s gone.” He stated without hesitation in an assertive tone.

“How gone?” Laura wanted details; something to calm her down, if that was even possible.

“Don’t worry about that.” Keanu got back to sipping his tea, while Laura just held a full cup, warming up her stiff fingers. It was scorching hot outside, but she felt numb and frozen from inside, every little movement was requiring a great amount of effort from her.

“Besides, if you know nothing, you won’t accidentally mention it to someone.”

“Yeah…” She heavily exhaled, causing turmoil in her mug. “Even I don’t trust myself now.”

“It will get better. You’ll see.” Keanu stared at her, nodding vaguely, unsure if he even believed what he had just said.

Laura could sense this uncertainty too. “Mhm,” she hummed squeezing a polite half-smile. She wanted to have faith in Keanu’s words, but each day seemed worse than the previous one, and Laura was already losing hope. “I think I should go.” She muttered, sluggishly standing up and looking at Keanu, waiting for him to approve.

To Laura’s surprise, he didn’t try to hold on to her for any longer; Keanu just carried her backpack escorting Laura back to the garage. She almost felt sad now, knowing she would not meet him again.

“Thank you for everything.” Laura paused before opening her car door, and looked at Keanu for one last time. “I mean _everything_.”

Keanu simply nodded; he felt weird having Laura thanking him. It didn’t seem fair given the fact that he hadn’t stopped her. He had only helped her to get away, when he could have actually prevented her from all of this pain in the first place. Why hadn’t he done so? Why hadn’t he stopped her? He couldn’t explain.

“Take care of yourself.” He said, lifting the gate for her. It was tough letting her go, but deep down Keanu knew she was right saying they had to stay away.

For some last moments they stood there silently facing each other, Laura laying her fingers on the handle, stalling to open the door.

“Soo… Goodbye?” Keanu slightly shrugged, having his jeans pockets welcoming his hands.

“Yeah…” She tried to force a smile, but the best Laura could do was a miserable twitch of her lips. “Goodbye.” Her voice made a final faint crack.

\-------------------------

Entering her home, Laura was met by Katherine, who looked like she had been sitting in the living room all afternoon, waiting for Laura to return. She seemed like a ticking bomb, and Laura could only wonder when this woman was going to snap at her.

“How was your meeting?” The mother asked, pouring herself a glass of wine. From how much the bottle had to be tilted, Laura could see that it was almost empty; and then she saw another one, also opened, which was resting on the table, next to where an old photo album was.

“Not now, Katherine. Sorry.” It was all Laura said before running to her bedroom, trying to conceal her watery eyes. The moment her body reached the sheets, tears started streaming down her face. It had been an overwhelming day, and Laura wished she could just disappear.

After crying her heart out, everything that she had gathered throughout the day, Laura lied there for a while, letting her tears dry until all that left was tension in her under-eyes. She kept staring at the wall; it felt like minutes were turning into hours, and Laura would have gotten lost in time if not the phone ringing in her purse.

Seeing it was Abigail almost made Laura grunt. She knew what the conversation was going to be about, and she would have gladly ignored the call, but she was afraid it might have seem rude; Abigail was the closest thing to a friend that Laura had.

“How did it go?” Abigail asked with her excitement-filled voice, which only made Laura feel worse.

“I’m sorry, I totally blew it.” She chocked and kept on gasping, since her nose was completely stuffed. “Maybe I’m not ready yet.”

Of course Abigail could hear that Laura wasn’t doing fine, but having a cheerful spirit, she was all about encouragement. “I can look for smaller projects.” She suggested.

“No, Abby, I just- I can’t.”

There was a moment of silence between them, and thankfully Abigail understood that Laura was not in the mood for getting back to work yet. “Okay, got it. Take your time.”

Laura thanked Abigail and immediately hung up; she couldn’t believe it, but she felt like dozing off. It was finally the point of tiredness against which it was impossible to hold out, making Laura fall asleep before it was even 7 PM. The real question was though, whether she was going to last for the whole night.


	4. Ruin It, Please

_She’s running. Running as fast as she can._

_Her lungs are freezing, and her feet feel heavier with every step._

_The night is so dark and so cold, full of tall trees following Laura wherever she goes._

_The trees are moving, becoming terrifying men, who begin running after the girl. She’s trying, but she doesn’t have much power left. Laura is about to give up, surrender and face her destiny, when suddenly, she notices a knife clenched in her shaking hand._

_Laura turns around; it’s Robert’s face everywhere, numerous bodies coming to get her. She starts stabbing the air, hesitantly at first, but each jab is increasingly determined, making the men fall with blood splashing everywhere._

_And…_

_She’s alone again._

_The darkness is fading, revealing the crimson red, which is getting prominent on her light dress. The trees get sparser, and she notices a crowd watching the pile of bodies surrounding her frame. The knife is still in Laura’s palm, the dripping blade with blood of all the men she has just put to death. All eyes on her, they’re full of shaming, and Laura knows she’ll have to pay for what she’s done._

\------

Laura woke up with her heart pounding, the cold sweat drenching her tear-filled sheets. Her limbs began trembling, forcing her to take a look to make sure that there was no actual knife in her hands. Then, she felt a hard lump in her throat and she sat on the side of the bed, painfully swallowing and trying to regain her breath.

Laura glanced at her phone, only to find out it was 2:44 AM. Sleep however, had already deserted her. She thought she could reduce the turmoil by stretching her legs, and maybe some herbal tea could alleviate the stress as well.

Passing the living room on her way to the kitchen, Laura saw Katherine on the same sofa that she had been spending time on all day. She was asleep, ridiculous amount of wine bottles resting on the coffee table, all emptied in order to sooth a heartbreak.

Laura knew it was her fault bringing Katherine into such state, watching her deteriorate with each day.

_Guilt_. She was feeling so much of it. Loneliness as well, but Laura didn’t feel as if she deserved to have people supporting her. Even if she wanted to pour her heart out, there was only one person in the whole world who could listen to her, who might understand her misery and despair. And yet, she couldn’t go talk to him; Laura had already tried, and in her eyes, that had been a stupid and dangerous idea.

She brought the tea back to her room, where she decided to finally open the backpack, which Keanu had returned to her. And if anything could help forget this daunting reality, nature documentaries was Laura’s first idea. Luckily, having her computer back, Laura was able to immerse herself into another world and allow the soothing narration to numb her head.

As she was opening the laptop, Laura noticed a small piece of paper falling out of it. She immediately saw there was phone number and a small note reading ‘ _If you ever need me_ ’, making Laura pause for a second, soaking in the fact that now there was a possibility to call him.

But what good was that? She couldn’t just ring Keanu at 3 AM, especially after the way she had treated him the previous day. Laura knew she had made it very clear they should not have even met again in the first place. Wouldn’t that feel absurd going back to him again?

What would she even tell him? Laura hated to face that, but Keanu was the only thing holding her back from going to the police and admitting to everything she had done. She wanted to do the right thing. It was probably the only way she could escape this dreadful state; to come clean and accept what she deserved.

Keanu, on the other hand, deserved none of this. Laura didn’t know him that well, but he seemed like a good man. He saved her. He was risking so much that it would be unfair confessing if that meant Keanu could go down as well.

She felt torn between the two, she needed guidance; Laura needed someone to tell her what to do. Her best and only option was Keanu, yet she felt foolish even thinking about calling the man. Would she ask for his permission to go and tell the police? Would she call just because she knew Keanu would find a way to stop her from doing this?

Thinking whether she should make the call or not made morning come much quicker, and with the first rays of sunshine, Laura left her bed in search for something to wake her up. Not from sleepiness, but from her state of constant apathy, her physical stagnation which had arisen from her paranoia and remorse.

Luckily, the coffee machine required little effort and Laura chose a double espresso to give her at least a little will to go on with her day.

She gazed through the window holding a warm mug in her hands, watching the street, soaking in the morning stillness to dilute the chaos stirring within her mind.

_‘Fuck’,_ Laura vocalized the moment she realized she had already subconsciously made the decision to go see Keanu and ask to give back the knife. She was on the verge of confessing. Her feelings were destroying her from inside; the terrible blame, the fear of getting caught up in her lies and dragging innocent people down.

Keanu was the only piece of this puzzle she needed to figure out before owning up to what she had done. The knife, signs of fighting on Robert’s skin, these were the things keeping Laura from calling the detective and confessing it had been her all along.

\------

While there was still caffeine in her veins, Laura was rushing her car up the hills. Not because she wanted to meet Keanu that much, but she craved for answers, she wished to leave his place as soon as possible, having a full understanding of what she needed to do next.

Laura ditched her car in the middle of his driveway and hurried to the doorstep. She looked across the street to make sure there was no one suspicious hanging around, and then, there was a single heavy exhale followed by her fingertips reaching for the doorbell, pressing the button very briefly, just until the first sound.

The wait felt torturous; all Laura could think about was that she should not have come here, she should have learned the first time and break all the ties connecting them. They had agreed to a plan, and Laura had to remain silent, she had to learn to live with the guilt nagging her all the time. But it was too late to back down now, as Laura saw the door moving, revealing Keanu wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants.

“Laura?” He stared at her confused with his brows furrowed, he seemed like he hadn’t yet fully woken up.

“I can’t keep living like this.” She exhaled, gazing with misery in her sore eyes, hoping Keanu would understand. In reality, it only made him more puzzled, especially when he thought he would never see her again.

He stepped to the side, opening Laura the way to his home, but she stayed where she was, staring at Keanu and waiting for him to respond. “Did something happen?” There was still some morning raspiness in his voice, and he cleared his throat, gesturally encouraging Laura to come in.

“It’s too difficult, I can’t do this.” She sighed, once she was barely past his doorstep. It felt like her legs resisted going further in. “I think it would be the best if you gave me the knife and I went to the police.” Laura was ashamed to look Keanu in the eyes; they had agreed to something, and now their plan was going to waste. _She_ was the one who had gotten them both into such mess, and now _she_ was too weak, _she_ couldn’t deal with the aftermath. “I won’t mention you. I’ll figure it out.”

Keanu wanted to close the door behind her, but Laura’s hand was clenching the doorframe; it felt like she was ready to run, to flee any second, as soon as she got the chance.

“Wait. Just wait.” He rustled, bringing his hand up and running it through his dark hair. “Can we _actually_ go inside and talk?” He glanced at the doorframe, then stared into her eyes, making Laura aware of her hand.

After finally closing the door, he started walking towards living area, assuming that Laura would just follow behind. And she did for some time, she tried at least; however, she had so much feelings bubbling within, that it seemed impossible to wait for the moment to be right.

“I can’t keep carrying this burden inside of me.” She stopped in the middle of a hallway, making Keanu heavily breathe out and turn back to her. “Please, I’ll tell them I’ve had this knife all along.”

“I can’t give it to you.” He stated in a stern tone.

“Keanu, I’m begging you,” Laura pressed her palms together into a pleading pose, and her eyes began pooling, allowing her emotions to take over, completely ignoring anything that was left of her common sense.

“I don’t have it, it’s gone.”

After hearing the words, her lips only formed an inaudible “ _What?_ ”, and she began crying, realizing she had no more chance to own up. Having no knife to give to the detective meant that Laura couldn’t confess she acted alone. Her story would have too many holes, making it very obvious that someone else must have been involved.

She honestly didn’t know what to do; Laura realized she was bound to live with this blame. Yes, she had an option to betray Keanu, but at the same time she fully understood it would only worsen the guilt. It felt like a prison. The prison she walked straight into all by herself.

And now she was sobbing; loudly and sorely, her wails resonating among the tall walls of the hallway, filling the room with despair.

It brought a great amount of fright to Keanu’s eyes, seeing that Laura was a huge mess. He couldn’t let her go, not like this. Part of him was sorry, hoping he could find a way to help, but there was also this great concern, the fear that she might end up doing something extremely stupid and rash.

It was painful to watch her like this. “Laura, please…” Keanu felt powerless, standing in front of her, witnessing the misery. “It’s going to be okay. You’ve already come a long way.” He felt like his words were empty, dissipating somewhere along the way before even reaching Laura’s ears.

“I’m so sorry,” she howled, but that was hard to understand; chocking and weeping, she was wiping her nose and cheeks with her sleeves. “I should not have come. I should have j- just-” Another wave of crushing sobs burst out of her, and she stood there covering her face.

After a while of keeping her head down, Laura sensed a hand slowly coming her way. Ten finally, she felt it reaching for her shoulder, landing like an anchor to hold her steady in place.

It was a genuine physical contact, something she hadn’t sensed in so long. The warmth, that soothing pressure, making Laura aware that she’s fine, she’s alive; it was gradually grounding her back into the physical realm.

And then with a gentle pull, she ended up even closer to Keanu’s frame. His arms were making her sink deeper into his chest, his rhythmical breathing helping Laura to gather herself.

“Shhh. It’s okay, you’re gonna be okay.” Keanu mumbled, gently stroking her nape. He could feel that Laura was greatly distressed; every tremble, every sniffle was so apparent once she was tightly hugged.

They stood there for a while; Keanu’s shirt soaking up Laura’s tears, his embrace consuming her pain. 

“Have you had breakfast?” He mumbled, once he noticed that Laura was finally settling down.

“Mhm,” she hummed between her sniffles. Her voice was silent, making Keanu lean closer to Laura’s face.

“What did you have?” He asked quietly, trying to shift her thoughts away.

“Coffee.”

“Yeah, thought so.” Keanu sighed uneasily, making Laura aware that he was not approving her so called meal. “Come,” he leaned away from the hug, keeping one arm behind Laura’s back and giving her some support. She felt feeble, ready to collapse any moment now, so breakfast was definitely something she couldn’t afford to skip.

She ended up in his kitchen again, on the same bar stool like the last time they had met. “Is omelet okay?” Keanu asked, as he wanted to prepare something nutritious for her.

Honestly, she was _so_ hungry. For more than a week Laura had been eating nothing but occasional snacks, living mostly on coffee and energy drinks. And yet, she didn’t want to cause any additional troubles, she had already been bothering Keanu more than enough.

“You really don’t have to,” she said in an assuring tone, but in the meantime, he had already taken out some eggs.

“I was about to make one for myself, I’ll just double it.” It was a lie and Laura sensed it, but she was grateful for Keanu’s effort to make it all less awkward between them.

Sure, she felt stupid trusting him, especially after being terribly hurt in the past; still, she so badly needed a friend, she was desperate to have someone she could talk to. A little bit longer, and Laura believed she would go crazy with everything bubbling inside her overworked brain.

“Am I a terrible person?” It was a question troubling Laura ever since the horrible night. She felt strange voicing it, but at this point she could no longer keep her feelings in.

“Of course not.” Without hesitation, Keanu replied looking over his shoulder, feeling her sorrowful words cracking his heart.

_He should have stopped her_ …

It was crushing him, the fact that he could have prevented all of this; however, Keanu was doing his best hiding the guilt. At this point, his priority was Laura, he wanted to make sure that she was doing okay; or at least the possible best in a situation like this. Yes, he was beginning to really care for her, but at the same time Keanu fully understood she was a liability. He was aware that his career and also his life were hanging on a thin thread. “What you did wasn’t good per se,” he continued beating the eggs. “But it was the only thing you could have done to protect yourself.”

“No,” Laura breathed out. “I could have gone to the police, tell them everything…” She trailed off with regret.

“You mean confess?” Keanu kept himself occupied with the omelet. He found it much easier for both of them, if they didn’t have to face each other during this discourse. 

“No, no, tell them about what Robert had been doing to me,” Laura explained. “Instead of killing him.”

The silent pause followed after her last phrase. _Killing…_ She hadn’t vocally admitted to that ever since the fatal night, but now, allowing the truthful words to roll of her tongue, almost made her feel easier, lighter from all the secrecy and lies that had been sinking her deep into the dark waters of guilt.

“Laura…” Keanu sighed, giving her a side-eye. “You’ve been living with him for how long? Years?”

“Five…” She felt foolish admitting that. All those years Laura could have done something, but she had chosen to suffer in silence, afraid to reach out for help. 

_It all seemed very different back then…_

“Exactly, and you never left him, never told anyone. So what makes you think that something would have been different this time?” Keanu immediately hated the judgmental note coming with his tone, but he could not take it back, so now, handing Laura the full plate, he only hoped that food will make her feel better, maybe even allow her to think about something else for once.

Yellow - the color of sunshine; the color which was supposed to make one happy and full of joy. And yet, having the bright omelet sitting right in front of her, Laura wasn’t even close to livening up. She kept looking for reasons to condemn herself, something to support her believe that her actions were unjustified.

“If you had testified about Robert hurting me that night, it would have been something, no?”

“You need more than that to lock someone away. You need proof, indisputable evidence, and looking at you I see none, no bruises, nothing,” he expressed, giving very little thought to what he had just said, but as he saw Laura’s eyebrow arching up, he immediately knew he had screwed up.

“Seriously..?” It felt like his words were a stab to her guts. “So what, you just don’t believe me now? You saw it yourself, how he was hurting me…” Laura didn’t think what she was doing, but her body tensed and she involuntarily stood up, with her hands unsuccessfully trying to grasp her handbag. She did seem like she was about to storm off, so naturally, Keanu rose up from his seat as well.

“I do, Laura, wait.” He reached for Laura unsure what his intention actually was, but his hand never really touched her. All he wanted was for her to calm down, so that he could explain what he actually meant. “You didn’t understand…”

Laura froze in place, waiting for what else Keanu had for her. “I do believe you,” he exhaled. “Trust me, I do. And that is why I’m telling you that you did the _exact right thing_.” He stared at her, with his head slightly tilted, his eyes pleading for her to understand.

And finally she did. “ _Oh…_ ” Laura sat down, feeling a bit embarrassed now, thinking she should not have overreacted in the first place; but it was so hard when after all these years of ignorance, she thought she finally found someone who understood her, and she was afraid that it was turning out to be a false hope. 

“At least we know now that he won’t hurt you anymore.” Keanu calmly added. He wasn’t offended or anything, just honestly glad that this misunderstanding got resolved, before Laura could do anything reckless.

“Don’t _you_ feel guilty?” She had been curious to know what Keanu had been thinking this whole time. She found it strange, the way he was appearing like it hadn’t been bothering him almost at all. Yes, he wasn’t the one, who killed Robert, but he was definitely responsible for Laura getting away with his murder. “Any kind of remorse?”

The question didn’t surprise him. Every single time when Laura was around, he did nothing but pretend like he was fine. All just to make Laura feel better, to prevent her guilt from consuming her, curbing any ill-considered moves. 

“Of course I do.” He admitted, and it was in fact much harder than he had thought it would be. Maybe masking his feelings for Laura had not only hidden them from her, but also Keanu himself had never really faced the actual blame he had been carrying all along.

“Do you regret it?”

They both felt the pause following her question, but Keanu didn’t have a definite answer to this.

“I don’t regret helping you.” He tried eluding the actual question. Keanu wasn’t sure if it was right feeling guilty for actions, which had been made in order to protect those, who couldn’t defend themselves. He wished it was all so simple; and yet, deep down he knew it was twisted, it did have a sense of wrong to it.

“Thank you.” Laura felt like she could never properly express how grateful she was to Keanu for showing up that night, and more importantly, for saving her, for helping her to go through this. She had only come this far, because she wasn’t alone.

At the same time, Keanu couldn’t believe he saw something similar to a genuine smile. Yes, it was very minor, only the corners of her lips making a slight curve, but it was a good start.

“Anyway, the omelet was really good, thank you. And I should probably go. It’s already embarrassing that I barged in like this.” Even the tone of her voice felt a bit livelier now, giving hope that she was not a lost cause. “You can just forget this and keep going with your day.”

“Yeah, I was going to look for an interior designer today.” Keanu mentioned, setting the plates near the sink. “Unless…” He turned back to Laura, cautiously grinning and giving her a suggestive look.

“Very funny,” she smiled back, slightly wider this time. “I’m flattered, but that’s a big no no. Besides, your home is already perfect, I don’t think I could add to it.” With her last words Laura delved into her handbag trying to fish out the car keys.

“Exactly. Doesn’t it seem _too_ perfect? So perfect it gets depressing at times.” Keanu’s hand went into the kitchen drawer, taking and handing Laura an energy bar. She nodded in a thankful manner, then took another quick glimpse around his home. _Depressing_ , it definitely wasn’t the interior, it was more likely his state of mind; and if he wanted to redecorate, it was probably because he needed a change of scenery, a project, something to divert his mind.

“So you want someone to ruin your home? That I can do.” She smirked. They were both kind of joking, but that made Keanu actually consider _what if…?_

“Come on, seriously, I want more color. It’s all too white now.” He wasn’t sure it was okay to ask straightforwardly. Laura seemed like she was pretty determined to not keep seeing him, nevertheless, she was the one, who had come here today. Keanu felt a bit lost, he knew how easy it was to trigger Laura, and he was afraid to do it again. 

“I like it white, makes the artwork stand out more.” Keanu caught her glancing at the stripper paintings, and they exchanged some cheeky smiles. “You could look for white with a bit more of grayish undertones. It should reduce the brightness, especially with tall windows you have.”

Keanu found it fascinating how talking about walls and colors made Laura immediately brighten up. He saw the passion in her eyes, how much she actually enjoyed her job. Maybe after all, it wasn’t a bad idea for Laura to get back to it.

“Why don’t _you_ try that?” He tried remaining subtle, but clear enough for Laura to get the idea. 

And she did, of course; however, it only made her heavily sigh, and she glanced at him in an alarming way. “No, Keanu, it really doesn’t sound like a great idea, you know.”

“But it will keep you distracted,” Keanu spoke convincingly. “Away from home, away from his mother. Why not?” He didn’t want to push her too much, but he saw that Laura was already considering the deal. She hated staying at home, the days felt dreary, full of sadness and never ending guilt. This was her escape; what Keanu was offering seemed like and easy way of getting back to work without dealing with demanding clients, who she couldn’t handle in her current state.

“ _So… What do you think?_ ”


End file.
